so it's sunday night. I'm sitting in my room, as per usual. my parents are probably (falsely) assuming that I am reading up on Jesus or history or gangsta rap, but I am not. and to be totally honest I haven't for quite a while.

that's right, I started university a month ago and I am behind on reading and homework. at least homework that isn't for marks. see, I only try to look like a good student. anything that needs to be done, I usually do right before class starts. like study!

when I'm sitting in my room I am just staring at the blindingly white walls, or trying to figure out where they're filming movies or tv shows nearby. it really has become an obsession.

yeah, I don't know why I'm in school either. I'm not particularly enjoying it. I've made about 2 friends maybe (depending on your definition of friend. mine is: someone who has spoken to Katriina more than thrice). being there just kind of makes me feel like my aberrations are being set out on display. why is this strange though? it isn't, is why.

my classes just scare me. professors are so intimidating and smart.

I think that's just it. I feel too dumb to be there. I'm almost certain that I am the youngest student, and it feels like everyone else knows. all these PKs and MKs have a sixth sense. they can tell when you are not 100% holy and pure, and they can smell out the ones who do not think the same.


it's a scary place.