so it's sunday night. I'm sitting in my room, as per usual. my parents are probably (falsely) assuming that I am reading up on Jesus or history or gangsta rap, but I am not. and to be totally honest I haven't for quite a while.

that's right, I started university a month ago and I am behind on reading and homework. at least homework that isn't for marks. see, I only try to look like a good student. anything that needs to be done, I usually do right before class starts. like study!

when I'm sitting in my room I am just staring at the blindingly white walls, or trying to figure out where they're filming movies or tv shows nearby. it really has become an obsession.

yeah, I don't know why I'm in school either. I'm not particularly enjoying it. I've made about 2 friends maybe (depending on your definition of friend. mine is: someone who has spoken to Katriina more than thrice). being there just kind of makes me feel like my aberrations are being set out on display. why is this strange though? it isn't, is why.

my classes just scare me. professors are so intimidating and smart.

I think that's just it. I feel too dumb to be there. I'm almost certain that I am the youngest student, and it feels like everyone else knows. all these PKs and MKs have a sixth sense. they can tell when you are not 100% holy and pure, and they can smell out the ones who do not think the same.


it's a scary place.

I'm trying to decide whether or not having Swine Flu would be all that bad.

Depending on how long I would be trapped inside, I might have to drop out for the semester. I wonder if I would actually go back.

But seriously, how fun would that be.

If you knew me when I was fourteen, which chances are you didn't because you don't know me at all, then you would know about my obsession with Hayden Christensen.

I would call him my first love, and there are still photographs of him up on my wall. Unfortunately this will change drastically right now.

Hayden Christensen, I'm breaking up with you. I'm appalled by your behaviour and choice of friends. You have been making very poor choices, and I do not appreciate it. I cannot carry on this relationship any longer.

I came to this realization last night while searching youtube instead of reading important books. I came across an old interview with you while you were on the Craig somethingshow. He is not Craig Ferguson so he does not matter. Anyway, I saw you. I heard your laugh. You were awkward. It made me sad.

I miss the old you. I miss the non-douchey you. And that is really all you are now, a big douche. I couldn't finish watching it because it broke my heart too much.

I was positive in my decision when passing through The Bay a few days ago. As I walked through the perfume section, the pungent stench pierced my nostrils like no nosering ever could. Then I saw this:




You just... you look like... okay let me put it this way. Your beautiful blue eyes are beautiful, but you just look like such a douche. I mean, Lacoste?! Really, Hayden Christensen?! Really?!


Anyways, I'm sorry to end this. I really am. I will never forget you. And maybe someday, once you've dumped Rachel Bilson, you'll see me walking down the street and think, "is that Katriina? Dang, I love her. I wish I hadn't picked Rachel Bilson over her and been a big douche.", and I'll look into your beautiful blues and agree.

Goodnight, sweet prince. I will never forget you.

this here is a blog.




you don't really want to read it.