I honestly just need to hire some gigantic nerd to listen to me. People don't want to hear my problems, that is perfectly fine, but will someone please just listen to my stupid opinions and theories.

Why does no one on this planet care about Lost, or time travel, or want to listen to the theremin with me, or discuss dystopian futures, or talk about the art and themes in graphic novels???

One of the reasons I can't speak in front of a group of people anymore without violently shaking and having a panic attack is because of my family. Over the summer they were pretty much the only people I talked to, and every time I brought up something that I thought they might be interested in- because I come from a family of nerds- they just ignored me or start talking over me and I just kind of fizzled out and feel like a giant idiot. Now I never want to to talk because of the shame.

My point is this: for many years I have mocked and "cool story bro"'d people who tell awful tales and give me pointless facts. I now realize that every time I talk and no one listens, it's because I am the "cool story bro" lady.

What has become of me.

I need help.